Se afișează postările cu eticheta Chuck Norris. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Chuck Norris. Afișați toate postările
marți, 16 martie 2010
joi, 11 martie 2010
miercuri, 16 decembrie 2009
miercuri, 10 septembrie 2008
Hard Chuck Norris LHC facts
Chcuk Norris can detect both the Higgs boson and the tehnicolor particles.
There is only one particle accelerator more powerfull than LHC: Chuck Norris. Particles just keep running from him, nearly at the speed of light.
Chuck Norris can kill Schrodinger’s cat for good.
Chuck Norris can produce a chain reaction out of any stable isotope just by roundhouse kicking it in the face.
The Higgs boson will be named “The Norris Particle”.
There is only one Higgs Boson, but after a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris, it became a whole family.
Only Chuck Norris can run faster than the proton beam inside LHC.
Chuck Norris can change the spin of the protons with a single round-house kick.
Chuck Norris sucks black-holes dry, without the help of Hawking radiation!
Chuck Norris can swallow a whole beam of acccelerated particles just for cleaning his teeth.
The LHC was built when Chuck Norris accidentally performed a roundhouse kick at a subway station in Zurich.
13.7 billion years ago, Chuck Norris said: “Let there be Big-Bang”
No subquarks particles are known to exists because Chuck Norris didn’t roundhouse kick a quark. Yet. When he decide to do this, LHC will became useless in studying the new physics created by those particles.
There is no quadrupoles for controlling the proton beam at LHC. Chuck Norris simply stares at the protons and the Higgs boson pops out.
Only Chuck Norris can use the LHC ring to propose. Andromeda said yes, but Chuck Norris kicked her in the face and she was projected 2 millions light-years away.
LHC doesn’t bring the Apocalipse. Only Chuck Norris can do that.
There are no stable particles. Each and every particle exists as long as Chuck Norris looks at it.
Chuck Norris uses micro-black-holes created at CERN to cook spaghetti for himself. Out of anything.
Initially, neutrinos had no mass. But they prefer an encounter with Higgs boson rather than facing Chuck Norris.
The photon was a stationary particle once. Until Chuck Norris roundhouse kick it. Just ask a photon about his speed nowadays.
There are no gravitational waves. It’s just Chuck Norris inhaling and exhaling after a roundhouse kick.
There are no gluons holding the quarks inside hadrons. They are just sitting there, trying to hide from Chuck Norris.
Ever wonder where does the energy needed for LHC came from? They got it all when Chuck Norris blinked once.
Chuck Norris can inject neutral particles inside the LHC ring and detects whatever he wants, otherwise he will roundhouse kick you in the face with a force so powerfull that you would produce Higgs bosons instantly.
Continuarea pe http://www.starlog.ro/2008/09/09/chuck-norris-lhc-facts/
There is only one particle accelerator more powerfull than LHC: Chuck Norris. Particles just keep running from him, nearly at the speed of light.
Chuck Norris can kill Schrodinger’s cat for good.
Chuck Norris can produce a chain reaction out of any stable isotope just by roundhouse kicking it in the face.
The Higgs boson will be named “The Norris Particle”.
There is only one Higgs Boson, but after a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris, it became a whole family.
Only Chuck Norris can run faster than the proton beam inside LHC.
Chuck Norris can change the spin of the protons with a single round-house kick.
Chuck Norris sucks black-holes dry, without the help of Hawking radiation!
Chuck Norris can swallow a whole beam of acccelerated particles just for cleaning his teeth.
The LHC was built when Chuck Norris accidentally performed a roundhouse kick at a subway station in Zurich.
13.7 billion years ago, Chuck Norris said: “Let there be Big-Bang”
No subquarks particles are known to exists because Chuck Norris didn’t roundhouse kick a quark. Yet. When he decide to do this, LHC will became useless in studying the new physics created by those particles.
There is no quadrupoles for controlling the proton beam at LHC. Chuck Norris simply stares at the protons and the Higgs boson pops out.
Only Chuck Norris can use the LHC ring to propose. Andromeda said yes, but Chuck Norris kicked her in the face and she was projected 2 millions light-years away.
LHC doesn’t bring the Apocalipse. Only Chuck Norris can do that.
There are no stable particles. Each and every particle exists as long as Chuck Norris looks at it.
Chuck Norris uses micro-black-holes created at CERN to cook spaghetti for himself. Out of anything.
Initially, neutrinos had no mass. But they prefer an encounter with Higgs boson rather than facing Chuck Norris.
The photon was a stationary particle once. Until Chuck Norris roundhouse kick it. Just ask a photon about his speed nowadays.
There are no gravitational waves. It’s just Chuck Norris inhaling and exhaling after a roundhouse kick.
There are no gluons holding the quarks inside hadrons. They are just sitting there, trying to hide from Chuck Norris.
Ever wonder where does the energy needed for LHC came from? They got it all when Chuck Norris blinked once.
Chuck Norris can inject neutral particles inside the LHC ring and detects whatever he wants, otherwise he will roundhouse kick you in the face with a force so powerfull that you would produce Higgs bosons instantly.
Continuarea pe http://www.starlog.ro/2008/09/09/chuck-norris-lhc-facts/
marți, 24 iunie 2008
Chuck Norris Java Facts
- Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
- Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.
- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.
- Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.
- A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.
- Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.
- When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.
- The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.
- Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!
- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.
- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
- Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.
- Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.
- Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.
- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.
- Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.
- Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws
- Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates
- Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
last modifier!!
- Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!
- Chuck Norris can divide by 0!
- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.
- Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively
- Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.
- When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.
- Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.
- Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.
- Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.
- Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.
- JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.
- Chuck Norris extends God.
- Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.
- Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.
- Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.
- Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.
- Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
- Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.
- Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.
- A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.
- Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.
- When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.
- The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.
- Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!
- Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.
- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
- Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.
- Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.
- Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.
- If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.
- Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.
- Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.
- Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws
- Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates
- Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
last modifier!!
- Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!
- Chuck Norris can divide by 0!
- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.
- Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively
- Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.
- When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.
- Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.
- Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.
- Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.
- Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.
- JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.
- Chuck Norris extends God.
- Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.
- Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.
- Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.
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